As I look at my radiant sister
and admire her beautiful way
I can't help but think of our past (sigh)
People, It wasn't ALWAYS this way.
Its true Stef and I did not grow in peace,
In fact we were sworn enemies.
We were RUTHLESSLY forced to share the same room,
Someone just build a wall, please.
“Stop stealing all my clothes!”
“Keep your stuff in your space!”
There's no reason for crying, Mom
She deserved to be punched in the face.
Sure there were some good times.
There was love really, really, really, really, deep down.
Silly jokes and giggling all nighters,
But mostly just fighting and raging showdowns.
Change comes with time there’s no other way.
Though we were sure we'd always make noise.
But ladies who can tear us apart AND bring us together?
of COURSE, the war ends with BOYS.
It was then I discovered my talent for advice,
I couldn't wait to hear the days news.
And when she came home yelling and screaming,
Ugh (sigh) NOW what did he do.
Skip ahead and meet two gorgeous wiser women,
As Golden as two Girls could be.
Though Stef was sick of those stupid boys,
She needs a man, so where the heck is he
There's this guy at work with Conan tickets,
It's like he wasn't even tryin'.
I think Jon always knew the way to Stef's heart,
You start with Conan O'Brien.
But Stef was dating someone else,
Another guy she would see now and again.
But when she couldn't stop talking about this guy named Jon,
Carl and I said, which one is she dating again?
But she wasn't sure if it was right.
"When you know you know" is it true?
She knew when Jon twiddled his thumbs in hers,
It was just like our Nonno used to.
Time to meet the Family Jon!
All ten thousand, three hundred and forty of them!
He seems to fit right in this guy,
What's his name again? Shoiken?
I knew Jon was up for the task,
I knew Jon would have HIS room to share.
I knew when he asked my parents to marry her,
I knew cause... I was... listening upstairs.
You see, who's perfect for my siblings is perfect for me,
With great in-laws, I am truly blessed.
For when Carl and Stef go crazy competitive,
Jon & Ang & I could not possibly care less.
JVS, welcome officially to the world of siblings,
As we add one more to the Patrizio coop.
You’ll be fighting then hugging 2 seconds later
And proud you're in the "not related" group.
And so my sister we've figured it out,
Bonding over Cheetos and t-rex costumes.
You are my rock and I am your life boat,
And then we go home, to our own separate rooms.
Mom and dad always said we'd thank them,
For forcing us to get along.
Stef, I owe to you my career, and thick skin.
Mom and dad, no thanks you're still wrong.
So we raise a glass to my sister and brother,
In this family we have but one rule:
Whether it be of everlasting love or of pasta,
I promise, you will ALWAYS be full.
Salute!